From the Personal Diary of Tsukino Usagi
by LunaBell9079
Summary: This is a collection of excerpts from Usagi's diary preceded by a short explanation of events. What were Usagi's true feelings? Read and find out. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or the characters, but the story is all mine!

I actually got the idea for this collection from my short story 'The Will to Fight'. I loved the way I ended it with a small excerpt from Usagi's diary and decided that there was more to tell. I don't like the way she is made out to be nothing but a whiney crybaby and thought that perhaps there was times that she would, and could have, been painted as a more intelligent person. So here is what I think she felt at the most crucial points of her life.

"From the Personal Diary of Tsukino Usagi:

The First Battle"

By: LunaBell

Usagi sat at her window looking up at the moon. Luna, her newly appointed guardian, was asleep on the bed, purring contentedly. It was funny how things could change so drastically in a matter of minutes. Smiling to herself, Usagi looked down at the broach she held in her hands. It was amazing how much power was hidden within the innocent façade of the piece. Turning it slowly in her hands, she thought of the battle she had fought just hours before. She had been optimistic, yet excited, when the tiny black cat had told her that she was the Senshi of the Moon, protector of love and justice. When she had arrived at Naru's jewelry shop she hadn't actually expected to come face to face with a real live monster. She had been terrified.

Turning, Usagi placed the broach at the foot of the bed before refocusing her attention on the Moon. The battle was still fresh in her mind. She didn't understand how a fourteen year old girl was supposed to face down a monster and not be afraid, though she had to admit to herself that she could have handled it a little better. Plus, the dashing Tuxedo Kamen wasn't a bad addition to this fairytale life she was now living. He had slept in like any corny, romance novel hero and gave her the initiative to finish off the Youma with his words of encouragement. It also helped that he was drop dead gorgeous. _'If only he had taken off his mask.'_ Usagi thought dreamily.

Shaking her head, she grinned impishly at her musings. From what Luna said, there would be plenty battles in which she would have the chance to speak with him. That was a sobering thought. If anyone had told her two days ago that she was going to be a superhero and fight evil Youma, she would have laughed in their face, then called the loony bin. Well, at least she had Luna to show her the ropes and there had been mention of more Senshi. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if she had backup. _'I wonder when we'll find them.' _

Usagi heard the down stairs clock chime two in the morning. It was late and she should probably get to bed, but so much was running though her head that the thought of sleep seemed almost impossible. How many nights would she lose sleep because of a battle? There were so many questions and so few answers. Perhaps, in time, they would answer themselves. Looking back to the Moon, she said a prayer for strength and slipped from the widow ledge. It was time she went to bed. Who knew what awaited her tomorrow, and she was determined to get some rest before anymore Youma decided to show. She crawled into bed, careful not to wake her sleeping guardian, and rested her head on the pillow. Outside the Moon flickered as if something had burst from its center, while inside an answering flicker appeared on the forehead of the sleeping Senshi.

'_No one truly understands Fate. Why it picks certain people for greatness and others for failure. It is my belief that the actions of the individual are what truly make their fate. If you don't aspire to greatness than greatness will not come your way, but if you chase it, force yourself to grab it, you can do anything. One should never give up. Even when it seems too much to handle, there is a reason you are chosen to carry these burdens, but it is up to you to take action. It is up to you to achieve greatness. And when my time comes I hope I am ready. I do not wish to be the one who lets it slip through my fingers. I have been chosen, and I pray I will not disappoint.' _

-From the Personal Diary of _Tsukino Usagi_

Please comment! I really would like to continue this idea, but I want to know what my readers think. Flames are welcome.

Thanx, LunaBell


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or the characters, but the story is all mine!

Here is the second chapter to PDTU. And I want to thank skye668 for your comment. It means a lot to know that someone likes my work. Thank you so much! Now, on with the story!

"From the Personal Diary of Tsukino Usagi:

Recovered Memories"

By: LunaBell

It was raining. Usagi felt that the weather matched her mood perfectly. It had been two days since she had learned the truth about her past. It was weird, waking up the next morning to remember that you are the reincarnation of a princess that lived a thousand years ago. Then, to make things worse, she realizes that the man she had been fighting with for weeks, was actually her lover from the Silver Millennium. Her life seemed to get more complicated by the minute. Why couldn't she just be normal? Was it too much to ask? She had been a princess in her former life and now she was a warrior for love and justice.

Sighing, Usagi pulled the brush through her hair again as her eyes filled with tears. She didn't understand it. She didn't understand why destiny couldn't just leave her alone. Now, not only did she have to worry about failing in school, she had to worry about failing to protect the Earth! It was daunting to realize that you alone held the fate of the world in your hands. It was all so confusing. Looking at herself in the mirror, Usagi noticed a soft glow coming from her nightstand. She sat down her brush cautiously as she moved to the side of the bed. There, sitting in a pool of light, was her star locket. As if knowing that its mistress was near, the top popped open to emit the haunting melody that plagued the young girls dreams the night before.

It was like a slap in the face. Here she was, bemoaning her fate, when Mamoru could very well be fighting for his life. It was hard not to separate the Mamoru she knew from the man she'd once loved, but in reality they were the same, nothing had changed. He still had the same hair, eyes, and cocky smile. Hell, he even _walked_ the same way as he had a thousand years ago - and he was in danger. How could she have let it happen? Sure, she had fainted, but that was no excuse! He had died all those years ago attempting to protect her, she should have been able to do the same. Picking up the locket, she thought about how Tuxedo Mask had given it to her, not knowing that he was actually returning it to its original owner.

It was actually kind of funny when you thought about it. As normal humans, they had teased and annoyed each other; as superheroes, they had shared a strong bond. She had had a crush on him, for gods' sake! Fate really had a way of surprising you. So now here she was, starring at the gift she had given her love years ago, and wondering what the hell she was supposed to do now. _'I will get you back, Mamoru. I just need you to be strong until then.'_ She thought as she lightly closed the top of the locket and placed it back on her night stand.

Usagi made her way to the window, only to find that the rain clouds blocked out the moon. It was a shame really; she always seemed to think better when she was able to look at her old home. Sighing again, she returned to her bed. It would work out. She just had to keep telling herself that. It would be hard, but she and the girls could do it. _'I love you, Mamoru.'_ she whispered. With a smile on her face, the young princess fell into a deep sleep.

In a dark room, somewhere deep within the Dark Kingdom, came the unconscious reply, _'I love you too, Usagi.'_

'_I believe it is not just our past that makes us who we are, but also the pasts of others. It is easy to learn from your own mistakes, but a lot harder to learn from someone elses. I believe that perhaps my clumsiness isn't simply doing to a lack of attention, but more an unconscious need to be normal. As a princess I was always expected to be proper and poised, and now I can be what _I_ want. I no longer must depend on my Senshi for protection, for I am able to fight my own fights. I have learned from the mistakes of my past. Beryl will not win this war. I am more than a princess now – I am a warrior, and I will protect this planet with my life.'_

-From the Personal Diary of _Tsukino Usagi_

I'll try to get the next chapter up next week. Please comment! Flames are welcome.

Thanx, LunaBell


	3. Chapter 3

Here it is! The next installment is finally out. Sorry it took so long – life has a way of messing with your schedule. Anyways, enjoy!

"From the Personal Diary of Tsukino Usagi:

Before The Final Battle"

By: LunaBell

Usagi watched as her younger brother, Shingo, played his video game. Tonight could very well be the last time she gets to spend time with him. It could be the last time she sees his laughing face or hear his ridiculous insults.

Tomorrow night they were going to confront Beryl. It was finally time to put the witch in her place and take back all that she had stolen from them.

Usagi sighed as she thought of the battle to come. She and the other Senshi had been training hard for this day. Already they had been through so much together. Already they had formed a bond stronger than the one they had shared in the Silver Millennium. Rei, Ami, Minako, and Makoto had become the best friends Usagi had ever had.

It could all be over tomorrow. There were no guarantees that they would all make it back, and the only ones that would know of their sacrifice would be two talking cats and any of the group that managed to make it out alive. It was insane! To give up their own lives for people who would never know what they had done.

Pushing herself off the couch, Usagi headed for her room. Turning, she called out a goodnight to her brother and parents before proceeding. They would never know – and maybe it was for the best.

Luna was sleeping soundly at the foot of the bed when she entered her room. It always amazed Usagi how easily her guardian fell asleep. If only she could find peace in slumber as Luna seemed to. Each night seemed to bring more nightmares. Well, not really nightmares, more like visions clouded by a feeling of unease and dread.

Sometimes they were memories; things she did in the past. Others were more like glimpses of the future. These were always cloudy and hard to make out, but a sense of urgency and fear were always present.

God only knew what the future would bring.

Hopefully, if not inevitably, the defeat of their enemies.

A beeping sound came from the direction of her dresser. Rushing over, she noticed the sign of Mars lit up. What could Rei want at this hour?

Usagi pushed the button and watched as Rei's pensive features came into view.

"Hey Rei, what's the matter?"

Looking at Usagi, Rei remained quiet for a few minutes. "It's going to be okay right? We'll be able to defeat her and return safely, together?"

Stunned, Usagi could do no more than stare at the Senshi of fire.

"I know we don't get along most of the time, Usa, but you are very important to me. I can't help but wonder if I'm going to fail you a second time. What if we're not strong enough? What if she wins?" Rei asked.

"She won't win. We'll beat her this time, and we'll all come back together. There is no other option." Usagi said in all seriousness.

Smiling, Rei gives a victory sign. "Of course we will. I don't know what I was thinking. Get some sleep Princess. We're going to need all of our strength tomorrow. Night!"

Usagi watched as the screen went blank. So, it looked like the others were having a hard time also. It didn't seem to matter how strong you are - everyone has doubts. But they would make it. She would make sure of it!

'_No matter how much you prepare yourself, you are never truly ready for the challenges life throws at you. The only thing you can do is use what strengths you have and believe in yourself, in your friends and family to help you through the hardest times. No one knows what the future brings, and only you can choose the right path. Fight or quit, those are the choices you are given. You can either lie down and except your fate or fight to make your future what you decide it should be. Well, I'm not just going to let fate take over. I'm going to fight. I'm going to make my own future. And I pity those who stand in my way. I'm the former Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom, and the present Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice! Watch out Beryl, I'm not going to be so easy to kill this time around.'_

-From the Personal Diary of _Tsukino Usagi_

There you have it! Sorry it took so long guys! I kinda hit a bad spot in my life, but I'm back up and running now so no worries. Also, to all you 'Cursed' fans, the next chapter should be out in the next few days. Comments, I LOVE THEM!

Thanx, LunaBell


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